Communication

The keys to effective communication:

1. Be clear: Your message is clear and easy to understand. Use simple language, no obscure words or words that can be understood in different ways.
2. Listen: Pay attention to the message you are receiving: the words, the style of writing, or if in person, the body language and tone of voice. Acknowledge or ask for clarification if that helps. Show that you are engaged in the conversation.
3. Empathy: Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Understand their perspective and culture. Even if, on the surface, their culture seems similar to yours, there can be subtle differences you may not be aware of that change the understanding of your message.

The obstacles to effective communication:

1. Shyness: Self-confidence goes a long way to overcome shyness. Hierarchy is a big obstacle, even more so in culture than in business.
2. Culture: High-context cultures (e.g., Japan) rely on implicit cues, while low-context cultures (e.g., Germany) prefer directness. Some topics can be sensitive or even avoided altogether.
3. Assumptions: Leaving out what seems to be obvious information already known.

The Building Blocks of Communication:

1. The Sender: This is you! The person who has a message or idea to convey.
2. The Message: This is the information you want to share. It could be words, ideas, feelings, or even nonverbal cues like body language.
3. The Channel: This is how you deliver your message. Is it a face-to-face conversation, a phone call, an email, or a social media post?
4. The Receiver: This is the person you are reaching. They need to be able to understand your message and respond accordingly.
5. Feedback: This is the receiver's response to your message. It lets you know if your message was received and understood as intended.

Communication Breakdown:

• Unclear message: The message is confusing, or incomplete, or is missing context.
• Channel mismatch: Choosing the wrong channel, like sending a complex message via text instead of email, can make it difficult to understand.
• Poor listening: The receiver might not pay close attention or being distracted, overlooking the message's content or intent.
• External distractions: Noise, interruptions, or environmental factors can disrupt the communication process.
• Misinterpretations: Cultural differences or personal biases may cause the receiver to wrongly understand the message or its intent.

Example: Clear messaging

"Let's meet tomorrow"

When? Where? With whom? For what?

"Let's meet tomorrow 5pm at the Blue Cafe on Main street. Nat will join us. Casual meetup, nothing fancy"

• When: Tomorrow 5pm.
• Where: At the Blue Cafe on Main street (not everyone may know where Blue Cafe is!).
• Whith whom: With Nat.
• For what: Casual meetup, no need to dress up.

Example: De-escalating Conflict

Imagine a couple having a disagreement.

• Effective Communication: Each partner takes turns expressing their feelings and concerns calmly and respectfully - clear messaging. They actively listen to each other, trying to understand the other's perspective - active listening. They focus on "I" statements ("I feel hurt when...") rather than accusatory language ("You always..."). Open the path for empathy and problem-solving.
• Communication Breakdown: One partner yells and interrupts the other (unclear message - aggression). They focus on blaming each other (negative communication). This can escalate the conflict and make it harder to find a solution.

Communication is a skill that takes practice. Don't be discouraged if you don't get results overnight. Keep practicing, and you will improve your communication skills over time.

References good to read: